Cultural Terrorist thought he was just sooooooooo clever and original when he chose to call himself Cultural Terrorist, because who in their right mind would do this and risk alerting the FBI and the CIA and the Department of Homeland Security that he calls himself a terrorist and having them show up on his doorstep with handcuffs and getting his picture on Fox News and embarrassing his daughter to the point of changing her name before she is even married.
?
But NooooooOOOOOOooooo! Turns out that when one googles "cultural terrorist," there are 6,610,000 freaking results, including people calling themselves cultural terrorists, and one calling George Bush a cultural terrorist and another calling Barack Obama a cultural terrorist. I am a firm believer in false humility, but the real kind is still not fun.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
The History of Dada
1. In August, 1914, the senseless mass slaughter began on the battlefields of Europe.
2. Some artists got disgusted.
3. Some disgusted artists went to neutral Switzerland to sit and drink beer.
4. They declared that art had failed in its task of civilizing humans as evidenced by the senseless mass slaughter on the battlefields.
5. They wrote manifestos that declared that they were going to give up on art and produce anti art instead.
6. The anti art began to sell.
7. Anti art evolved into Surrealism and this, too began to sell.
8. Meanwhile, Communists took over Russia and promised to bring eternal peace and an end to senseless mass slaughter.
9. Then the war was over.
10. The Dada artists all joined the Communist Party and forgot all about anti art and senseless mass slaughter.
11. In 2009, a blogger called Cultural Terrorist started the International Dada Centennial Committee to celebrate the birth of anti art.
12. In 2014, Cultural Terrorist was so famous from the International Dada Centennial Committee that people paid big bucks for his paintings and sculptures as fast as he and his assistants could crank them out.
13. Cultural Terrorist was, by that time, 65, and so rich that he forgot about anti art and senseless mass slaughter.
14. In 2114, the International Dada Bicentennial Committee organizes the celebration of the birth of anti art among the survivors and descendants of survivors of the senseless mass slaughter of the third World War that had been started many years before by the Korean Communist Party.
15. This time the artists decide to get serious about preventing senseless mass slaughter.
16. They research and develop methods of directly stimulating the brain to produce the sensation of seeing great art without actually looking at any great art.
17. The artists get so rich from this that they get snobby and refuse to date non artists.
18. By 3014, artists are so genetically different from humans, that they can no longer interbreed.
19. Humans realize that they are no longer the most highly evolved life form and get very depressed about this and about being controlled by the artists.
20. Humans begin to refuse to reproduce.
21. By 4014, Humans go extinct.
22. The artists are on their own. They have to learn to hunt and gather and farm and make their own beer.
23. Oh well, at least there is no senseless mass slaughter.
24. Yet.
2. Some artists got disgusted.
3. Some disgusted artists went to neutral Switzerland to sit and drink beer.
4. They declared that art had failed in its task of civilizing humans as evidenced by the senseless mass slaughter on the battlefields.
5. They wrote manifestos that declared that they were going to give up on art and produce anti art instead.
6. The anti art began to sell.
7. Anti art evolved into Surrealism and this, too began to sell.
8. Meanwhile, Communists took over Russia and promised to bring eternal peace and an end to senseless mass slaughter.
9. Then the war was over.
10. The Dada artists all joined the Communist Party and forgot all about anti art and senseless mass slaughter.
11. In 2009, a blogger called Cultural Terrorist started the International Dada Centennial Committee to celebrate the birth of anti art.
12. In 2014, Cultural Terrorist was so famous from the International Dada Centennial Committee that people paid big bucks for his paintings and sculptures as fast as he and his assistants could crank them out.
13. Cultural Terrorist was, by that time, 65, and so rich that he forgot about anti art and senseless mass slaughter.
14. In 2114, the International Dada Bicentennial Committee organizes the celebration of the birth of anti art among the survivors and descendants of survivors of the senseless mass slaughter of the third World War that had been started many years before by the Korean Communist Party.
15. This time the artists decide to get serious about preventing senseless mass slaughter.
16. They research and develop methods of directly stimulating the brain to produce the sensation of seeing great art without actually looking at any great art.
17. The artists get so rich from this that they get snobby and refuse to date non artists.
18. By 3014, artists are so genetically different from humans, that they can no longer interbreed.
19. Humans realize that they are no longer the most highly evolved life form and get very depressed about this and about being controlled by the artists.
20. Humans begin to refuse to reproduce.
21. By 4014, Humans go extinct.
22. The artists are on their own. They have to learn to hunt and gather and farm and make their own beer.
23. Oh well, at least there is no senseless mass slaughter.
24. Yet.
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