The International Dada Centennial Committee must not fail to mention that, in the context of a celebration of the declaration, in 1914, by a group of artists in neutral Switzerland that art had failed in its task of civilizing mankind by, among other things, preventing the senseless mass slaughter on the battlefields of France, it is at least disturbing and perhaps ironic that in the years leading to the great war, many artists and intellectuals in Europe actually looked forward to a great war. They "reasoned" that the old Europe of the 19th century needed to be swept away and the most effective way for this sweeping to take place would be a great war.

When the war broke out, German Expressionist painter Franz Marc went so far as to volunteer to join the German army, fully aware that this would put him in the position of firing bullets at his own British and French friends. It was a brilliant stroke of poetic justice that he was the one killed in battle. Whether or not he was shot by one of his British or French friends is not known.

Cultural terrorist experiences fear and trembling that, deep down inside, he harbors similar sentiments of these long dead artists and intellectuals, that something needs to sweep away the tired old thought and behavior patterns of the 20th century and that a great war might do the trick, even though great wars can be so much greater these days. Cultural Terrorist is too old to be drafted. And he lives in a place that no one would bother to nuke. So, if he does secretly harbor such sentiments, he is doubly a dick.

Correction

In the previous post about the Appalachian Cultural Center, Cultural Terrorist wrote that the Yankees who gave Bubba a grant for his verticalized collection of junk to be considered art lived in Washington, and thus "did" have to drive by his junk on a daily basis. It should read "did not."

Appalachian Cultural Center

A fellow who calls himself "Bubba" (an uncreative pseudonym, in my humble opinion) has told cultural terrorist that he is thrilled to become a member of the International Dada Centennial Committee because he has been celebrating dada in his front yard for years. His county government that had been taken over by Yankees, passed, a few years ago, a law that declared that the collection of what he calls "objects" are actually "junk," and must be removed from view of the street.

He wrangled with them to no avail until he took a road trip on Interstate 40 to visit a woman he met on the internet who lived in Bakersfield California. On the way, he passed by the famous 60's era sculpture that consists of a row of vintage Cadillacs half buried in the dirt of the flat, empty, Texas panhandle. He was reminded of how, in school, he was taught that dada artist Marcel Duchamps turned a men's urinal upside down and declared it to be art. This did not make much sense to him until he witnessed the Cadillacs. He did not collect "objects" because he thought they were art. He collected objects because he liked them. Now, he got a revelation: any piece of junk can best get away with being called art if it is made vertical, rather than horizontal, like the random arrangement of junk in his front yard.

He decided to fight fire with fire. He knew Yankees held art to be sacred, even though they did not hold junk to be sacred. He arranged his junk in vertical columns, got a lawyer cousin to incorporate him as the "Appalachian Cultural Center," and applied for a grant from a different group of Yankees who, since they lived in Washington D.C., did have to drive by his collection of objects on a daily basis. It worked, at least to the extent that the county government has been too deadlocked about him to harass him any more so far.

Other areas of his life were not so sanguine. He proposed marriage to the woman from Bakersfield and she too got deadlocked. Reasoning that everyone in California is an environmentalist, he thought to impress her by naming his vertical junk collection "Replacement Rain Forest."

"I thought it was, you know, ironic. They said on the Discovery channel that the rain forests are being destroyed and can never be replaced. So I thought maybe when that happens Obama will pay artists to make, you know, replacements. But she did not think it was ironic. She just said it was 'cute.'"

The local newspaper printed a photo of Replacement Rain Forest. And soon after, a group of neighborhood boys climbed the columns of junk, one of which toppled and broke the wrist of one of the boys. His parents sued Bubba, who settled out of court for the amount of his grant from the National Endowment for the Arts. The woman from Bakersfield is sympathetic, but still deadlocked about marriage.

The Anti Novel

Cultural Terrorist has only had one respondent who claimed, in the spirit of dada anti art, to be making anti jazz. This is the band that calls themselves the Empty House, in reference to the fact that their jazz with no rhythm also tends to have no audience. But we (royal? presidential? confused?) have received several ( well, just three) reports of anti novels. Here is the gist of the most interesting. A Bettina Rathbone claims to have written an anti novel because if the the novelists' craft consists of getting people to begin to read, continue to read and finish reading, she has not been able to get anyone except her sister to read it. Her mother, husband, daughter, son, and best friend have not been able to get past page four. And her sister only read it, she says, in order to have an opportunity to say that it is a "piece of shit."

This much I remember enough to quote: "I heard a joke about how if you want to hide something from a black man, put it into a book. So maybe anti novels can be a way to send secret messages by putting them inside stories that no one can stand to read."

Well, that is all fine and dandy. It does not relate very much to the topic of the centennial of dada, but there you have it.

Another respondent asked, if membership in the International Dada Centennial Committee is free, why does cultural terrorist charge four dollars for his signature? Well, the answer is very simple.
1. Four dollars will get you lunch at a fast food restaurant.
2. The International Dada Centennial Committee is a celebration of the birth of the idea that art is a technology for the prevention of senseless mass slaughter on battlefields.
3. Cultural terrorist is not motivated to put himself out for anyone not willing to lose his (male=neuter) lunch a single time for this celebration.